My yooman has gotten it into her head that I, Ginger, am overweight. I mean, WHERE does she get that idea from? Now she has me on a diet. What's THAT? A diet sounds like severe suffering. Anyone out there think I need to go on diet?
What's wrong with my physique?
Mmm? (That's me in the bottom house)
I think I'm just a little...
...well-padded!
On Thursday night the crazy lady took away my overnight cookie bowl. No more munching on meaty nuggets biscuits during the night. I tell you, I almost fainted with hunger; so much so that I was sitting on her pillow at 3.30 the next morning purring at the top of my voice to wake her. This exhausting activity took me 1 1/2 hours. She eventually got up around 5am and at least she went straight to the kitchen and dished our seafood platter in jelly. I'm sure that if she had taken a minute longer, I would have expired.
That morning she lifted me in her arms, while she climbed onto a flat white creature with rolling eyes. She said she was "weighing" me. What's THAT, I wonder? She told me that I "weigh" five kilos and that by Monday I have to have shed at least 200grams. What's all this? Suddenly we have a Kitty Weigh-Less slimming club in Mwadui?
Anyway, when she replaced me on the floor, I padded into the kitchen as I could hear Pendo sweeping the floor. I, and my fellow-cats know that once Pendo has done this, she will mop the tiles and THEN she fills our bowls with cookies. Yum! Fortunately this day, the crazy lady who professes to love all animals (especially cats) but which I seriously doubt now, didn't stop Pendo from this activity.
However, that bowl of cat cookies was IT for the whole day! Eek. Will I ever survive this ordeal? Shadow and Ambrose don't seem to think anything is amiss. They munch their cookies, wander off the veranda and sleep with their pet tiger for the rest of the day.
I must admit I was surprised when I woke up on Saturday morning and found I was still alive. This type of cookie deprivation is dangerous; it's a miracle I'm still able to function normally.
At lunch time I found my favorite toy mouse and decided to play with it. I heard HER saying "Ginger is getting some exercise at last!" Mmm. Perhaps if I do this regularly, I will pass this strange test from my yooman and life may return to normal again. Normal being: LOTS AND LOTS OF COOKIES ALL THE TIME!
Hup...
...two...
...three, four!
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Oh, I do so relate!!! My Mom does the same thing!! And I go without goodies and food until I'm sure that I'm going to starve!!
ReplyDeleteSam Schnauzer
Hi Jo! I've just gotta tell you how happy I am for you about the new speedy access to the internet you now have. Isn't it amazing how technology has advanced to this incredible level in our short lifetimes? Your pictures of the grandson are incredible. I also enjoyed seeing the sunbirds on the homemade feeders. And enjoyed, too, the interesting tale of the fat-cat and how he deals with his "yoomans". Haha. Love that creative side of you, the writer. Thanks for sharing all the wonderful things about Mwadui. Bariki Bariki!
ReplyDeleteHow cruel of your human ! I don't think that you are too fat, you are just a little round. Just like Arthur, he weights around 7 kg ! My cats have no eating hours, except Pookie in the morning, so I try to give can food when they are in the kitchen and leave dry food day and night. But I suspect that Arthur is the best client. No way to put him on diet, because of Mr. G. he would feed him behind my back !
ReplyDeleteSince Arthur once was so sick that he became a skeleton nearly, I am happy to see him rather fat, because I think this way if he becomes sick, at least he has some reserves !
Poor Ginger! I am sure your Mom just wants you to be healthy. Cute post and adorable kitty. Happy Sunday!
ReplyDeleteOh boy, aint our ladies two of a kind?Mine has me on strict rations and marathon running regemes but I know for a fact that she once had a Siamese cat who weighed 14 pounds . . . she renamed him Einstein!
ReplyDeleteHope you don't starve to death, you may be forced to catch a real mouse.
All the best . . . Kookie
Awww... but believe me it helps!!
ReplyDeleteYoomens do know better than us!
Bozo
Aw, poor Ginger... but you'll thank your yooman when you've reached your youthful figure once again.
ReplyDelete