My yooman has gotten it into her head that I, Ginger, am overweight. I mean, WHERE does she get that idea from? Now she has me on a diet. What's THAT? A diet sounds like severe suffering. Anyone out there think I need to go on diet?
What's wrong with my physique?
Mmm? (That's me in the bottom house)
I think I'm just a little...
On Thursday night the crazy lady took away my overnight cookie bowl. No more munching on meaty nuggets biscuits during the night. I tell you, I almost fainted with hunger; so much so that I was sitting on her pillow at 3.30 the next morning purring at the top of my voice to wake her. This exhausting activity took me 1 1/2 hours. She eventually got up around 5am and at least she went straight to the kitchen and dished our seafood platter in jelly. I'm sure that if she had taken a minute longer, I would have expired.
That morning she lifted me in her arms, while she climbed onto a flat white creature with rolling eyes. She said she was "weighing" me. What's THAT, I wonder? She told me that I "weigh" five kilos and that by Monday I have to have shed at least 200grams. What's all this? Suddenly we have a Kitty Weigh-Less slimming club in Mwadui?
Anyway, when she replaced me on the floor, I padded into the kitchen as I could hear Pendo sweeping the floor. I, and my fellow-cats know that once Pendo has done this, she will mop the tiles and THEN she fills our bowls with cookies. Yum! Fortunately this day, the crazy lady who professes to love all animals (especially cats) but which I seriously doubt now, didn't stop Pendo from this activity.
However, that bowl of cat cookies was IT for the whole day! Eek. Will I ever survive this ordeal? Shadow and Ambrose don't seem to think anything is amiss. They munch their cookies, wander off the veranda and sleep with their pet tiger for the rest of the day.
I must admit I was surprised when I woke up on Saturday morning and found I was still alive. This type of cookie deprivation is dangerous; it's a miracle I'm still able to function normally.
At lunch time I found my favorite toy mouse and decided to play with it. I heard HER saying "Ginger is getting some exercise at last!" Mmm. Perhaps if I do this regularly, I will pass this strange test from my yooman and life may return to normal again. Normal being: LOTS AND LOTS OF COOKIES ALL THE TIME!
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